My second post

 After a week long rest, thanks to excessive cough, fever, cold, body ache etc. I am feeling excited and semi pumped to write this note. But, why am I writing this post on a Tuesday afternoon instead of working. Well, I have taken a sick leave again, just to make sure I feel super comfortable for my upcoming trip to London. Today is a day after diwali, diwali went alright and was super dull as i didnt step out even for a minute due to the body condition. 

But I spoke to a bunch of old school mates on diwali. It was quite refreshing and great to know about all the things happening in their life. I also spoke on video to my son. My son doesn't talk a lot on video calls, as he is generally busy running around and doing some naughty stuff or the other. But this time around, my son was talking to me on video call for a good 5 minutes. While, the 5 minute chat is a good start, my son kept asking me to do one of two things. One is to go to where he lives now or take him to where i live. I was moved because my son really wants to hang out with me. I was also feeling guilty because I couldn't hang out with him all the time. I spend close to 10 days a month with him. In that time, I ensure i fully dedicate my time to him but I would love to increase that to at least 15 days a month. 

Ideally i would like to spend a lot more time with him but the situation right now is not conducive. I always keep overthinking( wrote about it in the previous post) on what the right strategy would be? What is the right amount of time to be spend with my son and with my mother. A lot of new ideas keeps propping up on how i ll manage time between the two. But i hope i figure it out someday and ensure i stay guilt free and do justice to both my son and my mother.

One of the friends i spoke with had recently given birth to twin kids. the kids look great but what caught my attention more was the kids clothes, the kind of play ambience that was provided for the kid. It looked like one of those pristine day cares in the heart of a big city. I couldn't control not comparing the kind of clothes and the ambience that was provided for my kid at such young age. It was definitely not great, it was a bunch of self made pillows with some mattresses. That also made me think about why was it that ways for my kid when he was really small. I think the answer is keep getting back is "interest"/"effort" shown by parents, especially mother. I feel the mother of my kid is not as interested as few of the other mothers i have seen, that is also the reason why i keep following up with her to do things on time. That is also the reason why end up arguing a lot more times.

Anyways that is it for this post! Will write soon!